A Failed Marriage?
- Lucas Roy Lehman
- March 29, 2023
- No Responses
The autumn days are getting shorter, but miraculously, here in Santa Cruz, the Indian Summer temperatures are actually warmer than during summertime, and I’ve been so enjoying swimming in the ocean a few more times before the water gets too cold.
Maybe because the school year starts in the fall, to me, now feels like the time of new beginnings. It’s also the harvest time, and the time of letting go, when the leaves begin to die and fall from the trees. These natural rhythms are just as real in our lifecycle as they are in the plant world, and in that spirit I would ask you to take a moment and answer the questions:
What are you harvesting? What are you letting fall away?
As for me, what I am letting go of is my marriage to Kim-Elisha. Or more specifically, since we separated in June, what I am now letting go of is the part of my identity that was intertwined with hers. It has taken me a season of tears and grieving to come to this place. Releasing our shared dreams and shared love, and letting go of the part of me that embodied that love and those dreams, has been lonely, and painful, and difficult.
And though our relationship only lasted 4 years, I don’t actually view it as a failure. It was a hugely transformative time in both of our lives, and I am grateful for how she showed up for me, and I am proud of how I showed up for her, and how we loved each other all out until the end.
What I’m harvesting now is a sense of wholeness and self-love that I didn’t have when I met her, and that I wouldn’t have now if she hadn’t gone. And from this place, the story and the details don’t matter.
As for the new beginnings, I’ll leave that for next time.
What about you? What are you harvesting? What are you letting fall away? Hit me with a quick email reply—I’d love to hear.
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